I recently realized that 'break ups' are not only possible and an integral part of a relation of commitment between a couple. People sharing any close relation originating at heart would surely agree with me that differences in any relation gives equal pain as a normal 'breakup' (if you were serious about the relation :P)
Both have few similarities and few differences. The reason of both types are the death of feelings for the person at the other end and the diminished value of the one time most cherished relation. But, the execution differs. And, I find the differences quite humorous. While in most of the 'artificial' relations between couples, the break up is as elaborate as 'getting committed' itself. In relations more true, these break ups are silent. Death of a forced relation between a couple may give at least one party relief from numerous stages of self alteration to match the needs of the partner. Death of a true relation may not be as sudden and may be pathetically slow and and horribly painful! While numerous people come to give you condolences on your break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, typically stating 'you went through hell', ironically, no one notices the slow death of a cherished and valued relation and you don't get sympathy and condolences also because you haven't shared the news with anyone to give the dead the last dignity it deserves. Friends of mine also had celebrations after breaking up, I had also pulled a friend into the idea of celebrating the end of 'black' days and the start of a 'new dawn'! Thanks to my convincing skills, the idea was immediately backed with flow of alcohol and kilos of flesh and laughter of different volumes. In the invitees there also were few who found it absurd, cynical and 'few' who took it as a hint of what I could also have done when I had broken up.
Recently, a relation close to my heart died, a precious ball of crystal shattered, a tender thread of silk got snapped. And, it was also, as usual, a slow and painful process. The way most important relations start getting diluted, distances start building up, the heart-to-heart conversations changing into occasional hi - byes, slices your heart. I also firmly believe, that at a given point of time, in any relation, there is always one person who would be over involved and would take it as his/her responsibility to maintain and manage the relation while other may be relaxing, taking things for granted. But, just to remind, wait for the worse to happen once you find the 'manager' taking rest. In want of maintenance, relations do anyways have a natural death, but the 'managers' sitting back being pissed off by the laid back attitude of others may add extra - chilly to the spices and may cause more burning sensation!
But, one thing is also bound to happen. Though you put almost the same effort to cut off from the dead relations and give it a decent burial, just to give you repeated and unwanted flash backs of the good old days followed by the not so very good ones, these people would keep on appearing again and again with an innocent smile. As if nothing happened! With that 'I am trying to make things better' expression, while it is visible that they are not. My question is what do you do? Do you just try to build a new and fake relation and give them a chance to keep pretending to be saints with 'I am trying to make things better' placard hanging round their necks (without making them realize that the best is over) or you just shut every possible door/window on them? Making a new and fake relation sounds stupid or shutting doors on people whom you once loved truly sounds ruthless? Well, I am yet to draw a decision on that. But, nevertheless, the fact is that break ups in various relations in our lives are unavoidable. Yet again I was cornered out to decide to break up...though I didn't want it to happen...but had to do, to let it die with dignity. And I am quite over it! Just that I have not celebrated it and did not call for any memorial service with lavish food and drinks this time.
Both have few similarities and few differences. The reason of both types are the death of feelings for the person at the other end and the diminished value of the one time most cherished relation. But, the execution differs. And, I find the differences quite humorous. While in most of the 'artificial' relations between couples, the break up is as elaborate as 'getting committed' itself. In relations more true, these break ups are silent. Death of a forced relation between a couple may give at least one party relief from numerous stages of self alteration to match the needs of the partner. Death of a true relation may not be as sudden and may be pathetically slow and and horribly painful! While numerous people come to give you condolences on your break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, typically stating 'you went through hell', ironically, no one notices the slow death of a cherished and valued relation and you don't get sympathy and condolences also because you haven't shared the news with anyone to give the dead the last dignity it deserves. Friends of mine also had celebrations after breaking up, I had also pulled a friend into the idea of celebrating the end of 'black' days and the start of a 'new dawn'! Thanks to my convincing skills, the idea was immediately backed with flow of alcohol and kilos of flesh and laughter of different volumes. In the invitees there also were few who found it absurd, cynical and 'few' who took it as a hint of what I could also have done when I had broken up.
Recently, a relation close to my heart died, a precious ball of crystal shattered, a tender thread of silk got snapped. And, it was also, as usual, a slow and painful process. The way most important relations start getting diluted, distances start building up, the heart-to-heart conversations changing into occasional hi - byes, slices your heart. I also firmly believe, that at a given point of time, in any relation, there is always one person who would be over involved and would take it as his/her responsibility to maintain and manage the relation while other may be relaxing, taking things for granted. But, just to remind, wait for the worse to happen once you find the 'manager' taking rest. In want of maintenance, relations do anyways have a natural death, but the 'managers' sitting back being pissed off by the laid back attitude of others may add extra - chilly to the spices and may cause more burning sensation!
But, one thing is also bound to happen. Though you put almost the same effort to cut off from the dead relations and give it a decent burial, just to give you repeated and unwanted flash backs of the good old days followed by the not so very good ones, these people would keep on appearing again and again with an innocent smile. As if nothing happened! With that 'I am trying to make things better' expression, while it is visible that they are not. My question is what do you do? Do you just try to build a new and fake relation and give them a chance to keep pretending to be saints with 'I am trying to make things better' placard hanging round their necks (without making them realize that the best is over) or you just shut every possible door/window on them? Making a new and fake relation sounds stupid or shutting doors on people whom you once loved truly sounds ruthless? Well, I am yet to draw a decision on that. But, nevertheless, the fact is that break ups in various relations in our lives are unavoidable. Yet again I was cornered out to decide to break up...though I didn't want it to happen...but had to do, to let it die with dignity. And I am quite over it! Just that I have not celebrated it and did not call for any memorial service with lavish food and drinks this time.
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